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| Can you handle the extreme?(Move over Mountain Dew)! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Hello my dear, dear friends, and welcome once again to my wonderful world of megalomaniacs! As you can see I have updated my page fromlast time, so you can enjoy new wonderful features! So have fun while you can or I'll come over to your house and blow up your car! Have a nice day! | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 010100 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Yes it's coming and it's the first thing on our minds when we wake up every morning. Will the aliens come and take us away and do horrible experiments to us again? Will everything shut down, and we will all starve because China can't make battery runned refridgerators? Will a giant asteroid come and kill us all execpt it won't turn out as a happy ending like in "Armaggeddon" and "Deep Impact"? Who knows? Well I do. And what I'm about to tell you is what the government won't, something that will cause the tabloids to stop running and all television show to go off the air. I'm about to tell you what is going to happen in the year 2000. Alright, you ready? Here it is. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Thats it. Nothing is going to happen! Thos stupid extraterrestrial idiots and scientists are all idiots! Nothing is going to happen! N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!!Right E.T? Q@%# *###!&^?*$%^#&?%? PhoneHOme#@%!^#%!> | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| Steve Martin Comical Genius | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Steve Martin recently wrote a book called "Cruel Shoes." Which is hilariously funny, so I have decided each week I will tell a short skit from his book. This weeks story is called "Dr. Fitzkee's Licky Astrology Diet" and it goes a little something like this: | The problem with diets today is that most women who do acheive that magic weight, 76 pounds are still fat. Dr. Fitzkee's Lucky Astrology Diet is a sure-fire method of reducing with the added luxury that you never feel hungry. Heres how the diet works: FOODS ALLOWED 1st month: One egg 2nd month: A raisin 3rd month: Pumpkin pie with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. If after the third month you haven't gotten to your dream weight, try lopping off parts of your body until those scales tip just right for you.
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